In my retirement years, I have totally changed personalities, or maybe I have found out who I really am. Does this happen to everyone? “Retirement,” of course, is a catch-all phrase that means I am writing books now on my own
time without a seven-to-four job. In those earlier working years, I was a terribly organized morning person. Now I seem to have turned into an afternoon person who is rapidly becoming totally disorganized. For some reason, my entire character has changed since I became an empty-nester, non-traditionally-employed, independent writer. How did that happen?
Years ago, I raised three children and taught high school English in a small town. Most mornings I revived the children, fed them, and went to my job by 7:00 a.m., leaving them to walk a short distance to school. That all 
changed the year my older son was a freshman in high school. I joined a carpool that took four boys to basketball practice at 5:45 a.m. We had it down to a science. One day a week, at 5:30, my alarm went off, the coffee started dripping, I grabbed my sweatpants and sweatshirt by the bed, ran a brush through my hair, and tripped down to the kitchen. My son had my cup full of coffee with the lid screwed on, and he handed it to me with the car keys and my coat, and away we went. Chirping cheerfully about the weather and the day, I didn’t notice that the boys were pretty quiet. Finally, my son said, “Mom, we don’t want to talk or listen at 5:45 a.m. Just try to drive and not talk.” Oh.
A few hours later, I was fearlessly teaching a class of twenty-five teenagers who were reading Emerson, Thoreau, 
Twain, Dickens, or Tyler. American Literature at 8 a.m. Motivated and full of energy, I worked very hard to convince 16-year-olds that these classic writers had something to say for their own lives. And I believed that. As the day wore on, these readers were followed by classes with research papers, MLA formatting, essay writing, and speeches. By 4 p.m., it was time for more car pools, cooking, dinner, homework with my own children, and paper grading, often until 2 a.m. The next morning it was time to start all over again.
It makes me tired just reading about it.
A morning person—that’s what I was. Me. Ms. Organization Plus.
Enter retirement in 2011 and the real life meaning of “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I had taught at the college level the previous ten years, a schedule that didn’t start until 9 a.m., three days a week. This permitted me to slide into my slipshod ways. It was a transfer station on the road to disorganization and total personality change. At the time, I didn’t realize I was coasting down this hill to my current life. The world was the same, but I was changing.
Today, writing mysteries and marketing them, I am up whenever I wake up. The alarm clock is no longer a staple of my life. My children are all gone with working lives and children of their own. I start the coffee, sit down in my bathrobe to read the newspaper and watch the morning news, and generally wake up very—I mean very—slowly. By ten o’clock, I hopefully have showered and started my day, but occasionally I’m still reading the newspaper. By noon, I am usually at my desk in my office, writing.
Unfortunately, my days of highly organized are also over. This is what my desk looks like
currently, and I’m considering cleaning it off so I can find the bill I should have mailed yesterday. I know it’s there somewhere.
When I think back to this description of my earlier mom days, I sometimes get a bit of nostalgia remembering my children and our lives together, my crazy hours, and my total exhaustion.
Then I look at my messy desk and sigh.
Then I smile.
P.S. For my three children: Don’t read this post or you will realize that the highly organized, driven woman you grew up with was not really your mother.
Oh I know. I work only 10 or 11 days a month and most days I am out of my pjs by 10:30. However, I am busier than I’ve ever been. My schedule is just more wacky. thanks for the blog, Martha
Oh me too, Martha. Seems like I’m crazy busy, but not in the mornings! Thanks for your comment.
My desk was never very clear, even at school. But, yes, my retirement generally parallels yours, Susan.
As I write this comment, I gaze around and spot piles here, papers scattered there, stacks of books leaning yonder. And, as with you, I used to be a morning person, but now have evolved into an afternoon type.
I still teach two days a week. On those days I have to be up by 7:30 to make it to my 9:30 class. On the other five mornings, I am up at 8:30, late compared to the old days.
Every morning I kiss Hattie, grab the Register-Mail and skim the front page and sports, peruse the op-ed page, peek at the sports, check to see if anyone I know died, finally I work a few ups and downs of the crossword. Eventually I give up on the crossword and toss the paper in an ever-growing stack.
However, on days off, I yank on my jogging (I no longer call what I do “running”) clothes, and Sweetie, my dog, I trot a few miles. That’s followed by breakfast, a scrubbing of my teeth, a shower, and a check of the news on Google and Yahoo. The last thing I do before creating the GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL is check birthdays on Facebook. By now, it’s 10:30 or 11:00.
Often, Hattie and I go out for lunch, usually to Delino’s. . Then, it’s back to pounding out “literature” until about 3:00 or 4:00.
Susan, thank for allowing me to reciprocate by sharing my day with you.
Thanks for sharing your days too, Jim. I thought it was just me, but obviously this insanity overtakes other people too.
I can just see you doing this: kissing Hattie, rushing out the door, newspaper in hand, and taking off to teach a bit. But I can’t wait to read YOUR great American novel.
Susan, I loved reading your description about retirement and the changing of your personality……there is something to be said about being an organized teacher……it spills over into one’s personal life and helps to manage the every day chaos. Retirement truly gives one the feeling of freedom from being so organized. I miss my very organized days at times…especially when I cannot find something very important. It seems as though life is more relaxed and much of the pressure is gone after we retire. I guess retirement is a time of enjoying a slower pace and taking time to smell the flowers and enjoy grandchildren. Thanks for posting, I enjoyed reading your description of retirement.
Thanks, Judy. You are so very right. That lack of schedule that we were used to while teaching becomes a real obstacle once we retire. Sometimes I feel like I don’t get anything accomplished. If I make a list and check it off, I find out that isn’t true. But that lack of teaching schedule is a big hurdle. Teaching, more than many jobs, adheres to a tight schedule where you know each block of the day. After retiring it seems like you are very, very busy, but doing…what?
I’m glad we are all smelling the flowers and enjoying the grandchildren!
Your post was so well-constructed and thought out, Susan, that despite what you say about your desk, I see the organized you shining through.
Since my retirement in early 2011, I’ve gotten two books and some poetry and short stories published, and a third book will be out this summer. Running to the orthodontist and soccer practice and school with my children, I expended a great deal of physical energy, but now my brain is able to produce something. Finally. Whew.
Thanks for starting my day the “write” way.
Thanks for your comments, Tricia. Glad to hear you too are able to put your energy into writing. Keep up the great pace!
I think most people rise to meet the challenges in their lives. You were organized and ran in circles getting everyone where they needed to go. I was a football mom for eight years. I hate football, but my son loved it. My son once called me a hypocrite because I don’t go to church anymore. I explained to him the reason I went–we wanted him to have some religious education whether or not I personally was devout. When we grow older and “retire” we no longer have others to think about and put as a priority before ourselves. So, I don’t think of it as a personality change. I think of it as returning to my roots.
A perfect way to put it, E.B. Davis. I find myself “returning to my roots” in a lot of other ways too. Perhaps that is what was meant to happen in the life cycle of an adult! Thanks for your comments. I’m still thinking about them.
Hi, Susan,
I felt very connected when I read your blog. Like you, I raised my children who are now out in the work world as productive members of society. I also taught English in the high school, then at Rutgers, then became an educational media specialist/librarian. But I always wanted to write full-time. Retirement has given me that opportunity. My advice, get up each morning at a regular time and start writing. I get up at six a.m. just as if I were going to work. Write each day early for several hours before you plan to do anything else with your day. It really does increase productivity. Congrats on your mystery novel. Let us all know when it’s published. You can contact me for an interview for Author Expressions at that time. Best wishes.
Hi, Jacqueline,
I suspect a lot of us have that same kind of pattern, especially if we were in college in the 60s. I don’t know if that is you, but I do have so many female friends who went the teaching route since that was available back then. Personally, I loved teaching. Since retiring, I have, on occasion, started my morning with writing. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. I do admire people with your discipline to rise early and write.
My first book, “Three May Keep a Secret,” is already out. But the second will come out next year, and I will look you up! Thanks for your comments.
Excellent post! I also enjoy my leisurely mornings – one of the many perks of retirement. Joanne 🙂
We’re probably drinking coffee and reading the paper about the same time!
I never had the schedule you lived with, and I doubt I could be alert enough to drive at 5:45 in the morning (except to the airport to leave for a vacation) but I well remember the packed days and late nights. I was often at work at 7:30, sometimes earlier, and I managed becauseI never thought about how much I had to do. I just did it. Now that I’ve been retired for a year and a half, I can see that I need to be as organized and as disciplined to meet my writing goals. I’m not a fast writer, but I’m steady. I have learned that I “want the day.” I want to do as much as possible, and then just sit and marvel at what a lovely day it is.
Hi, Susan,
When I retired, I decided I would not make any commitments too soon. I wouldn’t say “yes” to boards and community groups, and I would just relax after forty-four years of teaching. I took a year to do that and figure out what would work for me when it came to my writing. I think you have the right idea and have made a decision to do what works for you. That’s a wonderful thing–to figure out your best pattern. Many people agree that your decision to sit back and smell the roses is what retirement is supposed to be about. Thanks for your comments!
Delightful post, Susan. You could be talking about my life except I was in the corporate world instead of academic…and my Katie Cat is my alarm clock now. She gets me up so early I often need an afternoon nap. 😀
Thank you, Patricia. I have a feeling many of us “later writers” have had somewhat similar lives. Good to hear you now have an alarm cat.
I can certainly sympathize with the messy desk issue. Every day it seems the mess gets worse and the piles are deeper. I do remember being delighted when #2 son could drive himself to practice for the sport du jour–and also pleased I did not go to work until 3:00PM. (ballet teacher) However, my canine companions believe we should be walking at precisely 9:00AM, no matter what the weather throws at us–yesterday was snow–today sunny and warm. My husband manages to be otherwise occupied if the weather is foul.
It is good for me. Otherwise I might while away the entire day on the sofa, daydreaming rather than typing and they never offer suggestions about the story.
Hi, Barbara, I, too, can remember when the children each got their licenses. Thank goodness, because two of the three had ridiculously early golf tournaments. You have some fine company with your dogs, and even though they don’t offer suggestions, they also never criticize your writing. Thanks for the comments.